June 7, 2011

Poetry contest

Please enter the 1st Annual Crabby Mom Poetry Contest.

All I need you to do is to write a poem.  My theme is going to center around my health,
 or lack there-of. Let me give you some examples:


"Nature's remedy"
Fevers and coughing
Waiting for health to return
Mickey's anyone?



"This is the stupidest poem ever."
There once was a crab, this is true!
Who had turned one different hue
Oh try as she may
She just would not stay
The color of Institute Blue

I will have some sort of prize. I'm not sure what, yet.  It'll be fantabulous, though.


  1. Great. After my "Ode to Bertha" got vaporized!

  2. You're no fun when sick
    You put "crab" in Mother Crab
    Get better. Now. PLEASE!

    Is that too forward?

  3. [Blogger's note - I had to edit this!]

    There was an old woman who did insist that we write these poems to give her a laugh but all she got was another attack. She boasted away at her blue looking jell-o but what she really was wanting was a compassionate fellow.

    Praying for you, Mrs. Hall

  4. Roses are red.
    Violets are blue.
    I'm pretty sure that a French
    Beer-Cow says, "mieuuuuu."

    Mother Crab

  5. (Mickey Mouse Theme Song)

    Who's the sacristan of our glorious church, St. Francis de Sales Oratory?
    A-B-B E-A-W- E-S-O-M-E

    Hey there, high mass, low mass, we're as accomodating as can be!
    C-A-N O-N-W I-E-N-E-R

    Latin Mass!(Gregorian Chant!)
    Latin Mass!(Gregorian Chant!)

    Together we can raise your soul so high, high, high!

    Who's the priest that I forgot? Oh yes, it's Canon Lagavulin

    H-U-B - Be at de Sales at 8 and 10 on Sundays
    E-R-F - If not, you'll regret it!
    I-E-L-D Yeah!

    Mother Crab

  6. Huberfield?

    Mother Crab

    is this thing on?

  7. You're talking to yourself?! Oh no. You're worse than I thought. I fear the illness might be spreading to your brain...

  8. Old Mother Crab
    Went to the lab
    To get her poor brain a haiku.
    But when she got there,
    Her lab was quite bare,
    "There's not one here that I like-u!"

    I'm winning my own contest.

  9. You're only winning because you're scaring everyone else away.